Shower orgasms, golf carts, spread-eagled on the stairs – it’s the 10 best Rivals sex scenes so far

From naked tennis to Richter-scale juddering near wildfowl, Jilly Cooper’s bonkbuster features a whopping 33 romps. Ahead of season two’s return this week, gird your loins as we celebrate the busiest buttocks in Rutshire Rejoice! Rejoice! Five months after it staggered off with i

From naked tennis to Richter-scale juddering near wildfowl, Jilly Cooper’s bonkbuster features a whopping 33 romps. Ahead of season two’s return this week, gird your loins as we celebrate the busiest buttocks in Rutshire Rejoice! Rejoice!

Five months after it staggered off with its leotard around its ankles, Rivals has returned with six more bundles of ineffably filthy joy. Let perms be unconfined. What is Rivals about?

Some say the bonkbuster is a fond take on the shoulder-padded excesses of the late 1980s. Others that this adaptation of the late Jilly Cooper’s Rutshire Chronicles is a flambéed critique of the era’s social and political mores, as the haves and have-somes fossick for glory among the cufflinks and consortiums of upper-class rural England. And it is.

But only slightly. Because what Rivals is really about is bums. Here a bum, there a bum, everywhere a bum bum.

From the boisterous buttocks of the lower orders to the globular “cans” that besmirch the House of Lords, each of the series’ featured arses serves as a bouncing beacon of glee throughout Rivals’ many, many sex scenes. How many sex scenes? An astonishing 33 thus far, with the six new episodes promising more of the same, with clanging bells on.

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